Under the Neon Rainbow

Fellow Noshers,

It's not easy to be hungry when so much fodder is being set in front of you. Why would we want to be hungry anyway? What is this fodder being set in front of us that is preventing us from experiencing true hunger? It is important to consider these questions, because they offer clues to our dissatisfaction and hope for our fulfillment in life.

The function of our Cultural Diner is to get us to eat. It signals us that something is missing, something we need and can only get in the buffet line. The neon lights flash outside the Diner: "Open! All you can eat!". There's no need to eat alone at the Diner, either. The cooking-challenged among us are the most welcome guests at the Diner, for we are most appreciative of the food, any food.

The function of hunger is to get us to eat. It is the signal of the creature that something is needed for its growth and sustenance. And hunger pangs will increase until we attend to them.

Hunger has an incredible intelligence behind it. It is a driving force in our nature that pushes us to do what is good for us. The hunger of the soul is just as real and just as compelling as the hunger of the body. When something is needed, we feel it. When it is time for a new phase, it begins to happen. We hunger, we stretch toward new boundaries; the seed cracks open, seeking to be the flower it was meant to be.

From this perspective, it is clear why we would want to have true hunger, for it signals to us what we need and insists that we attend to those needs. The problem is that we have a lot of mixed feelings, and some misconceptions, about the soul’s hunger. The signals of change can be uncomfortable and disruptive. It could be that a sense of emptiness, or lack of meaning, arises; or perhaps depression comes. We may find ourselves restless and dissatisfied despite the fact that our lives are pretty good. Interests that once captivated us may no longer hold the same attraction. We may feel distant from people around us.

Our soul tells us what it needs. We just have to pay attention and attune to its dietary preferences. Otherwise, we will tend to give it fodder rather than real nourishment. The word fodder here means all the “food” that we give ourselves, with the best of intentions, that ultimately does not satisfy. The menu at the Cultural Diner doesn't look like fodder. It all looks like Turkish Delight; colorful and tasty but with no nutritional value, and loaded with MSG to keep up appearances no matter how long it's been under the heat lamps. Narnia's witch was right; she knows what captivates us, and holds us captive.

Typically, we feed the soul as if it were our body. Mistakenly, if it needs sweetness, we eat chocolate. If it craves peace, we give it alcohol or TV. If the soul is longing for freedom, we may have an affair or go bungee jumping. In each case, it is an attempt to provide outer solutions to inner needs.

I believe that there is one most pervasive form of fodder in our time. It is so common that it is considered normal, and yet ultimately it does not satisfy our true hunger. This attempt to satiate the soul's appetite, is ceaseless activity. What we really know how to do is stay busy. And, at the slightest hint of some inner restlessness we add more activity. For some people it is longer and longer work weeks. Others move from work to kids, or TV, or clubs and service projects. Even most vacations are merely another form of busyness. Even our children rush madly from school, to lessons, to the big game, and then off to do homework.There is nothing bad or wrong with these activities. The issue is one of balance. For most of us there is little time or value given to simply being, being alone and quiet. And therefore there is insufficient opportunity for real and deep contact, with ourselves, our families, our Creator.. And that is what we are truly hungry for.

Imagine a marriage in which every night were filled - movies, meetings, friends - and that the couple never really talked. In the absence of these moments of true contact, an essential element of the relationship that both people longed for would be missing. It is exactly the same with our primary relationship - the one we have with our innermost selves. As with any intimate relationship, it needs time and attention, with sincere and truthful discourse.

It sounds so simple to just be with ourselves. But this can be hard work. When we finally slow down and block off a little time, we are likely to see that our minds and bodies cannot be still. Or we experience such fatigue that we cannot stay awake. This is so, in part, because we live in a society with a nervous condition so widespread that there is a loss of the capacity to be still. To learn to relax the ceaseless engines of physical and mental activity takes patience and persistence. It is even an acquired taste. However, once we develop the ability to be still, each menu selection will become truly delicious.

Pay no attention to the neon signs. Go home and eat in the dark.

~Bill