That's not how you're supposed to make meatloaf!

Fellow Diners,

Even the Cultural Diner is subject to the occasional visit from the health inspector. You know those folks, right? Sent out by health department as a consumer advocate, to ensure food the public is consuming will be, if not tasteful, at least not poisonous.

It seems to me lately, however, that the health inspector might actually be a Diner employee. I can't prove this, just like no one can prove the media is a Democratic puppy dog, either.

Anyway, let me tell you what is on my mind. I know not everyone likes meatloaf, but I do. I like the way that no two meatloaves (sp?) are the same. Each franchise plays around with the ingredients, adds a pinch of this or a dash of that, and, voila! The secret, and perhaps, unrepeatable secret recipe. Now, the Diner undergoes a renovation every few years; the redesigns are usually nothing drastic, yet over time the place has become unrecognizable to some. Yet the management here is not stupid. They always keep a few of the traditional favorites on the menu, so as not to alienate the older, longtime customers still attached to tradition. Old habits die hard for the traditionalists, a customer base the Diner serves only grudgingly as the rest menu drifts further and further away from the old codgers' tastes. We all know, they'll die off someday anyway, and then we can remove meatloaf from the menu. To be replaced with some sort of "Iron Chef"-du jour, naturally.

Nobody really knows who was the first one to decide that steak and potatoes would go great together. Some claim that the two just sort of fell yogether on one plate by accident once. Others claim there is no good reason but prejudice that keeps two potatoes, or two steaks, from being on the same plate together; and we would still call it steak and potatoes. Hmmm. Something about that may not sound right to you. It didn't sound right to some customers at the Diner either. So when the health inspector told them the menu was going to change, they got together and petitioned for steak and potatoes to remain on the menu; and for steak and potatoes to remain, steak and potatoes. Problem solved, right?

Well, not so fast. Now the health department says those old codgers can't do it that way. It's unfair to the folks who want to order steak and steak; or potatoes and potatoes. This decision threatens to ripple through your local franchise of the Diner, too. So watch out.
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Yesterday, federal district court Judge Vaughn Walker overturned California's Proposition 8, which defines marriage as the union of one man and one woman.

While the immediate impact is limited to the state of California, the consequences of this egregious bit of judicial overreach threatens to be nationwide.

Two years ago, the California Supreme Court ruled that denying same-sex couples the right to marry violated the state constitution. In response, supporters of traditional marriage followed California's legal and democratic process: They collected enough signatures to put a proposed amendment to the state constitution on the ballot.

After a hard-fought campaign in which they were outspent by the other side, Proposition 8 supporters, including many African American pastors, enacted the referendum. Having lost the democratic battle, the losers again returned to the courts, this time the federal courts.

They argued that denying same-sex couples the right to marry violated the 14th Amendment's Equal Protection Clause. Throughout the 13-day trial, Judge Walker's sympathies were clear to observers.

He ruled yesterday that "moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians." Warming to the task, he added that "the evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason"—note that, "without reason"—"a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite sex couples."

Even though his ruling isn't surprising, his dismissal of the opinions of the people of California and five thousand-plus years of human tradition is breath-taking. Then again, inasmuch as Walker is one of the few openly gay federal judges, maybe his dismissal shouldn't shock us, either.

Let's be clear. What's at stake here goes beyond California and even beyond marriage itself. The reasoning that overturned California's law, that said that the right of gays to marry is a fundamental constitutional right, would, if applied nationally, overturn similar laws throughout the country.

As Catholics and Mormons, who led the Proposition 8 campaign, points out, it would be a mistake to think that the battle about the definition of marriage is only over marriage—disastrous as that is. A loss on this issue will have devastating consequences for our personal freedoms.

Catholics and Mormons point to the weakening of parental rights, of course the attack on religious freedom and individuals practicing their faith in public. People who oppose same-sex marriage will be forced to choose between full participation in public life and fidelity to their convictions.

So what comes next? An appeal to Ninth Circuit, the most liberal circuit court in America, and an expedited appeal to Supreme Court.

But my hopes are instead in the groundswell of public outrage and resistance. This is re-writing the Constitution of the United States and undermining the most basic institutions of civilized society.

This is why I have signed the Manhattan Declaration. You should come to http://www.manhattandeclaration.org/, and sign on and get your friends to sign on. It's time we took a stand. Millions of us have got to speak up and say, "No, we'll give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, never to Caesar what belongs to God."

And steak and potatoes will remain steak and potatoes.

Which way do I steer for my Cheeseburger in Paradise?

Omnivorously yours,

~Bill

An Apple a Day...

Dear Noshers,

I’ve never been there. It’s the little place across the street from the Diner. Actually, not so little anymore. Once, when both establishments were relatively young, it appeared the Farmer’s Market might even be overwhelmed by the Diner and put out of business. Surprisingly, though, its faithful customer base continued to frequent the location, boast about the quality of the fresh products they could buy, and continue to thrive along with their favorite food haunt. Not that the place has always been the ideal purveyor of healthy foods. At times it has even seemed to share recipes with the management of the Diner. Still, when a business does something good, I want to give them a cheer.
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In the never-ending battle of the technological titans, score one for Steve Jobs. No, the CEO of Apple hasn't come out with yet another groundbreaking iProduct, at least not since the iPad.

But he's done something even more extraordinary—he's brought good values into the mix.

Jobs has made it clear that he wants to keep pornography off Apple products as much as possible. Obviously Apple can't control everything its users do, but it can make porn scarcer on its products, and it has done just that.

A British newspaper, The Guardian, reports, "So insistent is Apple [on this policy], many magazine publishers developing 'apps' for the new iPad . . . have had to self-censor."

As you might expect, this has triggered a frenzy among some critics. Ryan Tate, a writer for the Gawker website, sniped at Jobs about suppressing his customers' "freedom," prompting Jobs to respond, "Yep, freedom from programs that steal your private data. Freedom from programs that trash your battery. Freedom from porn. Yep, freedom."

When Tate replied that he didn't want "freedom from porn," Jobs answered, "You might care more about porn when you have kids." In a correspondence with a consumer, Jobs went even further, speaking of his company's "moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone."

How refreshing it is to see someone who actually gets it—that yes, there are those of us who prefer to be free from the storm of smut that assaults us from every television, computer, and phone screen. The supply of pornographic material is so overwhelming that access to it is certainly not an issue of "freedom" anymore, if it ever was.

Jobs has pointed out that people who want to see porn on their phones, and who want easier access to it on their computers, can easily get all they want if they buy other companies' products. But as he said in a press conference, "That's a place we don't want to go—so we're not going to go there."

What Jobs seems to understand, and what his critics seem to be ignoring, is that there's so much more to pornography than just issues of economics or free speech. It shouldn't even need to be explained, but apparently for some people it does: Pornography is an ugly, poisonous, degrading business for everyone involved, whether they're making it, using it, or selling it.

New studies are demonstrating yet again just how dangerous and addictiveit can be. It tears at the fabric of marriages and families and of society itself. Its use is connected from everything to higher divorce rates to human trafficking to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Aside from the occasional reference to protecting kids (which is enough), Steve Jobs didn't go thoroughly into the reasons for his policy. But for whatever reason, he truly is demonstrating corporate responsibility, the kind that we desperately need more businesses to show in this sex-obsessed society.

May he continue to stand by his principles, and may his tribe increase.

But even if they're good for me, I still won't eat brussels sprouts,

~Bill

"Give it to Mikey. He'll eat anything."

Fellow Noshers,

You remember the old commercial for Life cereal, don't you? People still use the old tag line: "Give it to Mikey. He'll eat anything." The thing is, though, we've gotten that line twisted around over the years. Originally, Mikey wouldn't eat anything. He hated everything. That is exactly the reason it was so surprising to the kids at the table, when Mikey gobbled up the Life cereal. It was as though Mikey's tastes had changed, his behavior was completely out of character.

But these days "Mikey" really does eat everything. Unlike the old Mikey, the "grown-up" Mikey does not discriminate. It is easy to understand his change in tastes, really. We know about foods that are an acquired taste. You don't like them at first, but after getting used to them you come to appreciate the distictive flavors and textures.

That's what happens here at the Cultural Diner. Initially, we may not have a taste for anything on the menu. But the Diner seems the only game in town; it's what we have to eat, if we are going to eat. And the first few times we may have to choke it down, but eventually we kind of start to...like it. Or, at least we don't complain anymore if our fellow patrons order it. So now that is what is happening to Christians when they come to the Cultural Diner.
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Last night I had a disturbing dream. If you are anything like me, it is infrequent that you awake and remember your dreams, and even more infrequent that the dreams are vivid and have something of a storyline. When they do, I try to pay attention.

In my dream a mother had left her young infant propped up in a standing position (thought the infant itself was too young to stand independently) on, of all things, a church pew. She then walked away. Standing several yards from the baby, I was not quick enough to catch the baby before it tumbled to the floor, hitting hard. I looked around for the mother. She was nowhere to be found.

As I picked up the baby, I don't remember it crying, but I do remember it bleeding, profusely from the back of it's head. As I looked down to see the blood pooling on the ground, I was hysterical. And I couldn't find the mother anywhere.

Then, somehow, as dreams go, I was suddenly in the hospital with the baby, frantically searching up and down the hallways for a doctor or a nurse to help. Doctors and nurses loitered and moved about the hospital, completely unmoved by my frantic requests for help. Though I would speak loudly and, with tears thrust the child right in front of them, they would stare with blank and glassy eyes or simply go about their business. No one helped. The infant continued to bleed in my arms. And I knew the child would soon bleed to death.

Obviously, I awoke from the dream quite disturbed. Somehow, on the day of the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I can't help but think that the dream is symbolic of the public malaise on the issue of abortion. As I frantically searched for help and saw a helpless infant bleeding to death before my eyes, the real eeriness of the dream was in the absolute non-responsiveness of the crowd, the normalcy with which they continued to carry on their business.
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Undoubtedly many of the great evils of our times have been committed because the cries of the victims were not heard--not heard by those who sat by, comfortably ignorant of the horrors around them.

Today, there are victims whose cries of agony our ears will never hear. These are the unborn victims of abortion.

These things are uncomfortable to hear and to speak about. That is precisely the point. We should not be comfortable in a society where such crimes exist and where we would have the power to influence change, were our tastebuds not desensitized.

Were the owners of the Cultural Diner required to post labels and nutritional information on "choices" like abortion, as restaurants are legislated to do, perhaps the knowledge would shake us from the complacence of our booths.

Maybe we would at least fill out the comment cards.

The sign should read, "Millions and millions served."

Your Friendly, Neighborhood Food Critic,

~Bill

P.S. The patron who first ordered this dish, Norma Jane McCorvey, aka Jane Roe, has since become Roman Catholic and is a strong opponent of abortion. Pray with me that she receives God's mercy and still feels His love.