The Revolutionary Mix

Wow!!! What more could a person ask for?

I was shopping for a new refrigerator today, for the new tenants to our house. Not looking for anything fancy; but something that will hold enough for their family, be reliably cool and cold, and not too hard on my wallet. Then what to my wandering eyes doth appear? A 12-inch flat screen, and a place for my beer!

I stood mesmerized. Never in my life had I even dreamed the joining of technology and food could be so complete. When I was a kid, we marvelled at Tang and the fact that we could drink what the astronauts drank. Yet here it was. A 24 cubic foot, side-by-side refrigerator. Crushed or cubed ice and water on the left hand door; and a 12-inch LCD screen on the right hand door! It was hypnotizing. I had almost forgotten what I came for. What will those Madison Avenue Culture-gods prescribe for me next? I mean, they already know what next year's hot fashions will be...they must know everything!

There's only one problem I see with this refrigerator (besides the $2700.00 price tag!). When I open the door to grab my Silver Bullet, I won't be able to see the picture! Maybe they can put a screen inside the refrigerator; one that won't fog up when I open the door. Who knows what could happen on CSI during those crucial five seconds when I can't ignore the munchies? Or what Oprah might tell me, if only I weren't putting away the Kool-Aid? Heaven knows, I might even miss the photos of Suri Cruise, or Brangelina, while I'm grabbing the milk!

Does life have to be one big People magazine? Does our culture have to be so embarassingly nosy? Why are the headlines of the Herald-Worker usually about Tubby's problems, instead of something really important?

Desiring a little Silence and Solitude from the Screaming Masses,

~Bill

Sir, are you ready to order?

If only it were that easy.

I am the hungry one, and she is the one who brings nourishment from the unseen source. She brings exactly what I want, tends to my half-empty glass, and does so with a smile.

Oh, I like it when a waitress calls me "Hon'". What service!

Where is my waitress? And why did I get the table near the kitchen today?

~Bill